I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
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