real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
