feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
