at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
