Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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