New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
