Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
