Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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