Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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