can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
