You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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