There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
