Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
