Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
