Can i not drive my cunt home
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
