i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
