Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
