and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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