id be glad to
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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