I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
