he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
he fucked my hip out of place.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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