So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
