great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
