My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I think your dad took our porno
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
