I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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