i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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