Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We left an ass print on the piano.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
