she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If I die, sorry about rent.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
