Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
