I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
