Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
