guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
