I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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