I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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