if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
