eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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