I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
and i looked up. we had an audience...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
