definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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