dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
