By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
