wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
