You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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