So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
