I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
