somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
