do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
