I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
