When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize