So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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