chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Randomize
