THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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