It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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