So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
