no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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