i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
