can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
