I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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