I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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