I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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