she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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