so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
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